


A Christmas Carol Sung Slightly Off-Key

by bluehearteyes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 21:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluehearteyes/pseuds/bluehearteyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas loves Christmas almost as much as he loves Dean. The only problem: Dean's too caught up in his own feelings to realize it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a Christmas carol sung slightly off-key...

“Dean, can we watch The Polar Express again? That one is my favorite!” Dean sighed and started the DVD for the third time in two days. Ever since Cas had become human, he’d wanted to learn about every “human tradition” there was, from Christmas to April Fool’s day (the latter ending in a very disgruntled Sam). And so, for the past two weeks, the bunker had been filled with the sound of carols being sung by one ex-angel, the smell of burning gingerbread cookies, and as many decorations as $58.35 would buy.

“Cas, I swear if you sing this time, I will-”

“Dean, shut up, the movie’s starting!” Cas scolded.

Dean had just been about to fall asleep when he was jolted awake by a slightly off-key Cas singing along to the movie. He was as enthusiastic as a five year old on a sugar high when it came to this movie. He could quote every line word for word. It was getting out of hand.

 _“This is too much,”_  Dean thought. After all, you can only hear those catchy songs so many times before you start wanting to be run over by Santa’s sleigh. Dean got up from the couch and went off to find Sam. He wasn't too hard to locate, since he was, as always, poring over a book of lore in the library.

“You decide to be useful?” Sam asked jokingly.

“Nah, I just didn't want that damned song about hot chocolate stuck in my head again. God, I hate that movie. It’s so unrealistic. I mean, wouldn't somebody notice and fucking  _train_  chugging across their lawn? Bah humbug,” Dean replied.

“Well, you can make yourself useful…” Sam said, pushing a stack of books in Dean’s direction. Dean contemplated doing the work. On one hand, he could help Sam with research for once (except that then he’d expect help every time and that just wasn't going to fly). On the other, he could have a stupid song stuck in his head for a few hours.

“You know, now that I think about it, that song isn't actually that bad,” Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes as the older Winchester left the room, only pausing briefly to cringe as the chorus of Cas’ favorite song began.

As the last strains of the song finished, Dean decided it was safe to return to the couch. However, something hanging from the stairwell caught his eye. It took a minute for him to realize what he was looking at, but the rounded green leaves and small white berries were unmistakable: mistletoe. He hadn't noticed the small plant before, but now that he had, his mind went into overdrive.

 _“Shit,”_ he thought. A million different thoughts and scenarios began to rush through his brain, several of which may or may not have included kissing a certain Christmas enthusiast.  _“No,”_ he told himself,  _“you do_ not  _like Cas. He’s like family. He_ is _family. So what if I think he’s absolutely adorable at times, and his smile is just the brightest, and-”_

“Dean, why are you staring at the mistletoe? Is there something wrong with it? I’m fairly certain that is the plant used to decorate at Christmas, although I could be mistaken…” Cas said, getting up from the couch and coming to inspect the mistletoe with Dean.

“No, no, Cas, it’s fine, it’s great, really… I just- ah- was admiring your work. The way you tied that ribbon onto the stairwell… creative!” Dean stammered, his face flushing as red as Rudolph’s nose. “Okay if I finish the movie with you?”

“Of course, Dean. You can sing too if you want to. I don’t mind.” Cas said, barely above a whisper. It was only then that Dean realized how close Cas was to him, and  _damn_  those eyes were like getting lost in the stars and he was absolutely captivated with the way Cas’ eyelids fluttered when he was about to lean in for a ki-

“Oh, look, you love this part!” Dean exclaimed, feeling as though he was going to pass out.

“Yes, I do,” Cas whispered, hiding a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Dean settled down onto the couch, Cas sitting next to him (keeping quite a distance between them, unfortunately). They finished the rest of the movie in silence, Castiel not even uttering a note when the last song started.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two sad looks...

The next morning at breakfast, the air between Dean and Cas was as cold as the North Pole. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Cas left the table, still sporting that look of a puppy who’d been kicked out into the freezing snow. Dean was kicking himself for reacting the way he did. Cas was just decorating, simple as that. And Cas hadn't been about to kiss him, it was just Dean’s mind playing tricks on him. It was just a coincidence, Cas deciding to decorate with mistletoe, and he should apologize for freaking out like that.  _“But then I’d have to say_ why  _I freaked out, and that could be dangerous territory,”_ Dean thought.  _“But then again, if it_ was  _on purpose, and Cas actually likes me-”_

“Dean. You have been staring at that damn piece of toast like your life depended on it for the past five minutes,” Sam spoke up suddenly. “Come on, spit it out. What’s going on between you and Cas?”

“Nothin’,” Dean replied shortly.

“Yeah, okay. If by “nothin’” you mean “we’re both emotionally constipated dumbasses who can’t admit we have feelings for each other”, then yeah, that sounds right,” Sam replied, smirking.

Dean looked up at him in shock. “Cas and I don’t… I don’t like…” And suddenly Dean couldn’t stop the words from pouring out. “It’s just that I’ve been telling myself for so long to let him go, that it’ll never work, that I’ll just ruin him, break him. I already feel guilty for turning him away when he first became human and things were just starting to get back to normal between us and now this and I know I overreacted but-”

“Dean. Shut up. What happened to ‘no chick flick moments’?” Sam interrupted.

“Sorry. I just can’t hurt him again.”

“Trust me. What happened between you two already hurt him. Seriously, he looked like a kid on Christmas morning who expected tons of presents but ended up with a stocking full of coal,” Sam explained. “Now, go apologize and go on a date or something. Take him ice skating! Marriage is guaranteed if you go ice skating according to Hallmark!”

“We are  _not_ going ice skating. I will talk with him though, I promise.”

“Yeah, okay. Tell me how the longing stare that never actually leads to talking goes. I’ll be waiting,” Sam replied sarcastically.

“Bitch.”

 “Jerk.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me three icy falls...

_“This was a stupid idea. Why did I take relationship advice from Sam?”_ Dean thought to himself. _“No. Not relationship advice. This isn't a relationship,”_ he corrected himself. So he’d taken Cas ice skating, like Sam had said to, big deal. There were plenty of people there with their friends.

“Dean, I don’t think I’m very- whoa- good at this…” Cas said, nearly falling.

“Why don’t you hold onto me? I’m not bad, and that way if you fall I’ll go down to so you won’t look quite as funny.” The words were out of Dean’s mouth before he could stop them. _“Damn it, Winchester, now you've really fucked up,”_ Dean cursed himself silently.

“Alright. Just don’t go too fast, okay?” Cas looked slightly terrified, slightly embarrassed, and entirely out of his comfort zone.

“Just take my arm,” Dean told him, reaching out towards Cas. Cas took his arm, relief slowly showing on his face.

“Okay, I think I’m good,” Castiel said, sounding hesitant.

“Hold on!” Dean shouted to him. They began to skate around the perimeter of the rink, slowly at first, then picking up speed. Everything was going well until a wayward child skated into their path. Dean, forgetting he was Castiel’s only support, swerved left. Cas, not expecting the sudden change in direction, slammed into Dean, sending them both toppling onto the ice… and each other. Cas landed heavily on top of Dean, their legs tangling and arms flailing. Realizing the position they were in (and how it looked), they tried to scramble away from each other and stand up at the same time, which only caused them to fall again.

Now people were staring. Dean was pretty sure his face was so hot it could melt the ice. Whispers ran through the crowd and laughter could be heard.

“They’re so cute!”

“Fucking losers.”

“ _Gaaayyy._ ”

Dean stood up slowly, then grabbed Cas’ hand to help him up. He took Cas by the arm again and the two slowly shuffled off the ice.

_“I am never listening to Sam again.”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me four awkward stares...

After the ice skating fiasco, Cas could barely look Dean in the eyes. Dean wondered if it was because he felt embarrassed about the fall. Sure it had only been for a few seconds (though it seemed like an eternity), but nevertheless, Cas had fallen directly on top of Dean. You didn't even have to have a dirty mind to realize the problem there. However, Dean didn't know for sure why Cas couldn't look at him, save for the occasional awkward stare he caught (“occasional” meaning almost every time Dean looked at Cas).  
Sammy, the little shit, couldn't keep his nose in his own business. After Dean and Cas had come back from ice skating the other day and went immediately to opposite sides of the bunker, he’d teased Dean.  
“Wow, Dean, are you that bad of a kisser?” he’d mocked. Dean had flipped him off, still too flustered to think of a comeback. To make things worse, every time he caught Castiel staring at Dean, he would smile knowingly. Dean was starting to wish Sam would get run over by a reindeer.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me five ornaments...

It didn't take long for everyone to forget about the skating disaster. The initial awkwardness had passed, and both Dean and Cas could look each other in the eyes once again.

Since Cas had already decorated the majority of the bunker, the only thing left was to decorate the tree. Dean fetched the boxes of ornaments and strands of garland, and began to unpack them. They were nothing special, just shiny baubles and sparkly tinsel from the local supermarket. Since the Winchesters were constantly moving, they had no ornaments that had any sentimental value. Cas, of course, wanted to change that.

“We should make our own ornaments!” he’d suggested, a smile dancing across his face. He was practically exploding with enthusiasm, which was a rare occurrence. Dean couldn't stand to say no and see the spark in his eyes die. After all, Christmas was about happiness and spending time with family, right? Plus, it might be fun. So Sam and Dean agreed and the three of them got to work.

Sharpies, paint pens, glitter, paint, brushes, and ornaments littered the table in the kitchen. As it turns out, Cas was a pretty good artist. He’d set aside five ornaments which he said nobody was allowed to touch. He wouldn't say why, but he seemed very eager to shoo the brothers away so that he could work on them in secret. He claimed that it was a surprise, what he was drawing on them. Dean didn't question him. He was just happy to finally see Cas enjoying himself. He smiled, and Sam laughed.

“What?” Dean asked, suddenly embarrassed.

“You. You put on this ridiculous act, pretending to be all tough, and here you are, grinning like a twelve year old girl who just got asked to her first dance,” Sam teased.

“I do not!” Dean defended himself, still, it seemed, unable to come up with a witty retort on the spot.

* * * * *

“Alright, I've finished them!” Cas called out. Both Winchesters went to see what he’d been poring over for the last few hours. They walked into the kitchen where Cas was sitting at the table, wearing the proudest smile Dean had ever seen. In front of him lay five ornaments, although they weren't plain anymore. One four of the five ornaments were faces. There was Sam, Dean, Cas, and Bobby. The fifth ornament read in fancy gold script “Family don’t end with blood.”

Dean felt a sudden surge of love for Cas, and it took every ounce of strength he had not to grab him and kiss him. He settled for a hug, his face turning pink from the thought of kissing Cas. After all that was his _best friend_ , and best friends don’t kiss each other.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me six Santa pictures...

After the tree had been fully decorated (Cas’ five ornaments hanging on the very front), Dean decided it needed some presents under it to really be considered a Christmas Tree.

“Hey, Cas. I’m going to get Sammy a Christmas present. You wanna come along?” Dean called to Cas, who was happily watching another festive holiday film.

“Okay,” came the reply.

Dean had to fight to keep the small smile from showing on his face. It’s not like he was  _hoping_  Cas would want to go with him, or like the sole purpose of this trip was to be alone with Cas. He simply need help picking out the perfect present for his brother.

* * * * *

“Dean, why are all those children talking to that strange looking man?” The two men were sitting in the mall food court for lunch, and Cas was staring quizzically at the line of kids waiting to talk to Santa.

“You mean after all those Christmas movies, you don’t know who Santa is?”

“No, I know who he is, but I thought he was just a story. Is he real?” Cas asked, suddenly staring wide-eyed at Dean.

Now this could go one of two ways: One, Dean could be a good friend and tell Cas that no, Santa is in fact just a made-up story. Two, Dean could have a bit of fun with this.

“Yes, Castiel, there is a Santa Claus,” Dean said, completely straight-faced, his tone unwavering. It was a five-star performance, and it was no surprise that Cas believed every word.

“Does this mean Santa will visit us?” Cas asked.

“Oh, yes, of course! Have you been good, Cas?” Dean smirked at him.

“Well… I haven’t been the  _best_ , but I mean at least I didn't start another apocalypse,” Cas said, looking worried.

“Whoa, easy there. Don’t worry. I’m sure Santa will take into consideration every good thing you've done. Which is a lot.”

“Oh, okay. Dean, will you wait here for a minute?” Cas asked.

“Sure thing,” Dean replied.  _“He’s so cute when he’s clueless. Shit. No, he’s your friend and you’re straight. He’s a very very good friend.”_ Dean was waging war on himself. His internal battle was so intense he didn't even realize where Cas had gone until he looked towards the line of kids. At the very front of the line, waiting patiently, was Cas.  _“That fucking lunatic what in the hell does he think he is doing?”_ Dean silently chastised himself for what he’d done. He should have _known_  Cas would believe him. He should have said he was joking, but he didn't, and now Cas was going to make a fool of himself. He watched Cas walk up to the mall Santa, and, with a look of complete seriousness on his face, began talking to the man. He then smiled for a picture and waved goodbye to Santa. He made his way back to Dean, carrying his pictures with Santa in his hand. By this time parents were staring and pointing, and Dean could feel his face burn red hot.

“Cas, what the hell were you doing?” Dean hissed at him.

“I was asking Santa Claus what kind of cookies he’s partial to. I thought that I could somewhat make up for anything I've done wrong if I left him his favorite cookies,” Cas said, giving Dean that dejected puppy look.

“Damn it, Cas,” Dean said, a smile blooming on his face. Maybe it was the look on Cas’ face when he smiled, or maybe it was the way they said nothing on the car ride back, but they both knew something had changed, sheer ridiculousness of the entire day, but Dean was finally beginning to realize that this friendship wasn't  _just_  a friendship anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me seven spiked eggnogs...

Sam, Dean, and Cas were all sitting around the television talking, laughing, and just generally having a good time. Spiked eggnog was of course helping the festivities, but Dean’s recount of the story of Cas and Santa was getting a laugh out of everyone.

“He actually bought the pictures, too!” Dean whooped, grabbing the pictures from where they were laying and waving them around. Cas’ face was getting a bit pink, but he was still laughing.

“Alright, I’m going to bed,” Sam had announced a few hours later. He went on upstairs to his room, leaving Dean and Cas alone. Without Sam watching, Dean didn't feel uncomfortable when Cas moved next to him on the couch, nor when Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“Are you tired?” Dean asked him.

“No. I want to watch more Christmas movies,” Cas said, his words slurring a bit.

 _“How many drinks has he had?”_ Dean wondered. Sure, he was more tolerant to alcohol than Cas, but even he was kind of tipsy.

“Pleeeasse, Dean?” Cas begged, giving Dean his puppy dog eyes.

“Alright. But I think you've had enough to drink tonight.” Dean told him, taking his glass into the kitchen. He came back and put another movie on (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer), and sat back down next to Cas.

A few minutes in, Cas piped up. “Poor Rudolph. Those other reindeer are real assbutts. They should apologize,” Cas slurred. “Just because he has that ridiculous red nose doesn't mean he shouldn't be treated like a normal reindeer. I mean have you _seen_ Dasher’s nose? Like he can really be talking.”

Dean yawned. “Man, I’m tired.”

“Me too,” Cas replied. And suddenly Dean felt and arm around his waist and Cas’ head fall on his shoulder again. He moved closer until he was practically in Dean’s lap.

“Uh, Cas… personal space?” Dean said, suddenly afraid to move even an inch.

“But I like being close to you,” Cas whispered, his lips brushing Dean’s ear ever so faintly. It sent shivers down Dean’s spine, and he pulled his face away as best as he could.

“Cas, don’t. You’re drunk, and I think you should get to bed,” Dean said sternly.

“Sounds great, why don’t you come with me?” And with that, Cas moved to straddle Dean’s lap.

 _“Fucking hell, Cas”_ Dean thought, panic beginning to rise in him. He could smell the alcohol on Cas’ breath, his face was so close. He could see the striking blue irises grow smaller as Cas’ pupils grew wider with drunken lust.

“What do you say, Dean? You going to take me up on that offer?” Cas hissed, his voice lower than Dean had ever heard it.

 _“Yes I want to take you up on that offer,”_ Dean found himself thinking. He immediately felt ashamed. His friend was drunk, and he couldn't do that to him. “Uh… n—” He’d started to say “no”, but Cas’ lips (and tongue) cut him off.

God, that was great. The warmth of Cas’ mouth on his, the gentle tug of Cas’ long fingers in his hair— it was incredible. Dean wanted more. He _needed_ more. He pulled Cas’ hips closer and deepened the kiss. He ran his hands up Cas’ back and into his hair, pulling slightly. Maybe it was on purpose or maybe it was because he was drunk, but at that moment Cas made the most obscene sound Dean had ever heard. It was beautiful and downright _filthy_ at the same time, and if Dean hadn't been hard before he certainly was now.

 _“This is a really—_ fuck _— bad idea—”_ Dean thought, although he was making no move to stop. It wasn't as though they were stripping clothes off (yet), so why stop if you enjoy it? _“Because Cas is drunk and this is going to end badly,”_ Dean told himself. He knew he couldn't let Cas continue any longer in his current state. If something was going to happen, it would be when they were both sober.

“Cas, stop.” Dean whispered, pulling away from Cas suddenly.

“Why? I thought you were enjoying it.”

“You’re drunk, that’s why. You’re not thinking straight,” Dean reasoned with him.

“Well you’re not thinking _straight_ either.” Cas smirked at Dean, laughing at his own joke.

“Cas, seriously. You’re going to regret this in the morning if we continue.”

“Nooo, I don’t think I will,” Cas drawled.

“Alright, look. If you’re still so insistent on getting in my pants when you’re sober, then we’ll talk about this. But not until you have full control over your mind.” Dean stared at him, a look of disappointment on his face.

“Fine.” Cas crawled off Dean and instead curled up next to him, still cuddling up close to him. This was going to be a difficult conversation to have tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me eight bad excuses...

“Cas?” Dean blinked his eyes wearily, still taking in his surroundings. Cas was snuggled next to him on the couch, snoring softly. He smiled at how peaceful Cas looked when he was asleep. _“Shit.”_ The smile slid off Dean’s face as he recalled the events of the previous night. There was kissing. A lot of kissing. _“Did anything happen?”_ They were both wearing pants so probably not.

“Dean?” Cas’ eyes were fluttering open. He looked up at Dean, his face going from “Where am I?” to “Oh fuck” in about two seconds flat. “Dean, I— I’m sorry.” He scrambled up from the couch, straightening his clothes, eyes downcast.

“Cas, it’s fine,” Dean reassured him.

“ _Ow_ , my head! How do humans do this?” Cas said, feeling the effects of last night’s drinks. “Look, Dean, I’m sorry for whatever happened last night.”

“No, Cas, it’s fine. Stop apologizing.” Dean snapped.

“Sorr—” Cas began. He finally just ducked his head and shuffled away.

* * * * *

The silence was torturous. Dean felt like he was drowning in it, the only way out being to talk to Cas. He couldn't even bring himself to be in the same room as Cas, let alone actually talk about what happened. He just wanted to be left alone. He ate in his room, making up excuse after excuse as to why he didn't want to sit with Sam and Cas. He was pretty sure Sam could tell he didn't actually have a cold or whatever it was he’d told his brother he’d had, but Sam wasn't saying anything about it. He just left Dean to sulk alone, returning to Cas and making more excuses for Dean. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me nine apologies...

Dean could smell something burning. He’d been in the middle of sulking (surprise, surprise) when he first began to sense the smoke, but he hadn't gone to investigate. Now, however, the scent was much stronger. He reluctantly left his room, trying to avoid Cas as best as he could. He went downstairs to the kitchen, which seemed to be the source of the smoky smell.

 _"Damn it.”_ Before his eyes stood Cas, clothes dusted with flour, fruit filling smeared across his face, and frantically waving at the oven, trying to stop the smoke from pouring out.

“Cas, what the hell are you doing?” Dean asked him. Cas jumped, having not seen him come in, and whirled around to look at him, face turning red.

“I tried making you a pie. As an apology. But I forgot about it…” Cas mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

“Cas, it’s fine don’t worry about it,” Dean told him. He spent the next thirty minutes awkwardly helping Cas clean everything up. When everything was clean, Dean went back to his room, thanking Cas for his attempt at an apology. It was the thought that counted. That didn't make things any less awkward though. Cas felt like he had to apologize for almost burning down the kitchen, what happened the other night, the ice skating incident, everything he’d ever done that had ended badly and embarrassed Dean. He felt like he would never be able to stop apologizing, no matter what Dean said. He decided he’d have to make it up to him somehow. That “somehow” was either going to end very badly and cause even more tension between the two of them, or it was going to change everything for the better. Cas decided it was worth the risk. He gathered everything he would need including pens, pencils, and a notebook. He set to work immediately, wanting everything about this project to be perfect. This would be a present for Dean, and hopefully when he saw it he would light up like a Christmas tree. Of course the alternative would be Dean never speaking to him again, and he certainly didn't want that. With the incentive of Dean possibly speaking to him again, Cas began to sketch.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ten Christmas movies...

After the pie incident, the tension in the bunker seemed to lessen. Dean knew that Cas truly was sorry, and that it wasn't  _entirely_  his fault. Dean realized he should have stopped Cas long before he had. At least they were speaking now.

“I hope you two can tolerate each other long enough for the Christmas movie marathon,” Sam told them. The movie marathon had been started the first Christmas at the bunker. They would start early in the morning on December twenty-fourth with the movies and watch all day long. Whoever fell asleep first lost and got the wonderful job of taking down Christmas decorations by himself. Sure there weren't many decorations, but there was the pride and bragging rights that came with winning.

“Sure we can, right Cas?” Dean answered.

“Of course, Dean,” Cas said, smiling. He was happy that they were speaking again, whether it was just out of courtesy or not.

“Alright. Remember, Santa’s watching! You don’t want to get coal for Christmas, now do you?” Sam joked. He put the first movie in at 8:00 am exactly.

“You’re going down this year, Sammy. You might have won last year but this is the year I will exact my revenge!” Dean yelled, doing his best evil villain laugh.

“A bit early to be trash-talking, don’t you think?” Sam retorted.

“I've never seen such competition for something like this,” Cas said, amused by the the Winchesters’ competitive spirit. They were the best and scariest hunters out there, and here they were, making a competition out of staying up late to watch Christmas movies.

* * * * *

Around the ninth movie, Dean saw Sam begin to yawn.

“Gettin’ tired Sammy?” Dean mocked. Sam replied by throwing a pillow at him. Sure enough, Sam gave up when they put the next movie in.

“Alright, it’s between you two now. Don’t murder each other, okay?” Sam told them, then went off to his room, leaving Dean alone with Cas.

“It’s alright.” Dean said, seeing Cas staring at the empty spot on the couch next to him. A glimmer of joy crossed Cas’ face, and he practically jumped up to move next to Dean.

“Thank you,” Cas whispered. He didn't have to say what for, Dean already knew what he meant.

That small “thank you” said so much in two words. It said what both had been thinking for quite some time. It said all the things left unspoken, all the things that were implied, all the feelings that had been secret for so long.  

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me eleven I love you's...

“Now that I don’t have to worry about taking down all these decorations alone, I think I’m going to bed, too. Congrats, buddy, you won,” Dean said, getting up from the couch after the movie was over.

 Dean, wait. Stay here.” Cas looked up at him, his expression joyful and excited.

“Why, Cas? It’s almost two in the morning.”

“Dean, Santa is going to be here any time! I’d love to see him and ask him if he likes the cookies we left for him! You can meet him too!” Cas exclaimed, as if it was completely obvious as to why he wanted Dean to stay.

“Cas, I really don’t thi--” Dean began, but Cas interrupted him.

“I also, uh, have a present for you,” Cas mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Fine, I’ll stay.” Cas’ eyes lit up and a smile appeared on his face. He jumped up and ran to the tree, where he’d placed Dean’s present after he’d finished making it.

“Here, Dean. I hope you like it.” Cas placed a small package wrapped with newspapers on Dean’s lap. He stared expectantly down at him, waiting to see his reaction.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean said, tearing off the wrapping. Inside was a small journal. Dean opened the cover, not sure what to expect. Did Cas expect him to write his feelings down in here or something? However, what he found inside was better than anything he could have ever imagined.

The inside cover was nothing special. It just contained the traditional “To” and “From” like most presents. Beyond that, however, was breathtaking. Beautiful sketches filled the pages with intricate calligraphy serving as captions. As Dean flipped page after page, he realized what it was. Much like his dad’s this was a journal full of monsters and cases they’d worked. Except that all the cases in this book were cases that Cas had helped them on. He’d illustrated everything from the moment he’d raised Dean from hell all those years ago up until now. There were angel wings that filled two whole pages, each feather perfectly outlined, there was the standoff between Michael and Lucifer, there was even several pages of Dean, Benny, and Cas in purgatory. The last page made Dean almost tear up. On it was a full color sketch of the two of them. It wasn't just any picture though. It was the moment when Dean had broken through Naomi’s mind control on Cas. In the picture, Cas was standing in front of Dean, angel blade raised and about to strike. Dean had been clutching onto the sleeve of Cas’ trenchcoat, practically begging Castiel to remember him. He didn't need the caption to remember what he’d said to break through to Cas. He would remember that always. “We’re family. We need you. I need you.”

Dean couldn't speak. He couldn't think. His mind was going into overdrive with everything that was happening. He knew now that Cas loved him. The alcohol had only made him courageous enough to try to act on those feelings. But Dean didn't need Cas to tell him or show him how he felt. He’d known all along. “I love you” was etched in Cas’ every action. He said it every day, just not out loud. He had said it when he’d defended him in front of his army, he’d said it every time he helped Dean, he’d practically screamed it when he rebelled. _“All of it. For you,”_ had been Cas’ words. Now, Dean finally understood what  he’d meant.

Before he could even stop to consider what he was about to do, he stood up, grabbed Cas’ face, and kissed him deeply. He loved him unconditionally, and it was about time he did something about it.

“Dean,” Cas said, pulling away from him.

“What?” Dean asked him, suddenly worried Cas didn't like him in that way at all and he’d just ruined their friendship.

“If you keep kissing me like that I’ll never notice Santa when he gets here.”

“You are unbelievable,” Dean laughed. Sure, he was eventually going to have to explain to Cas that Santa wasn't real, but why ruin the moment now? “How about we just lay here, then? I’ll try to keep my hands to myself,” Dean teased, sitting down on the couch and pulling Cas with him.

“Okay,” Cas agreed. He moved closer to Dean, resting his head on his shoulder. He felt Dean’s arms wrap around him protectively, the feeling quite calming. Too calming, it seemed, as a minute later, both were snuggled close together, fast asleep.

* * * * *

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispered, shaking Cas’ shoulders to wake him up. He watched Cas’ eyelids slowly flutter open and a smile cross his face when he realized where he was.

“Merry Christmas, babe.” Dean grinned at him, then pulled him in for a kiss. And now, without having Santa to worry about, he could kiss him as long as he wanted to. Except he didn't want to leave it at just kissing. Not for long, anyways. He checked the time (6:04 am). Unless Sam planned on running in twenty-degree weather, he should be asleep for at least another hour. That was plenty of time for Dean.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve Christmas cookies...

Sometimes you should listen to the little voice in the back of your head that tells you when something is a bad idea. For instance, deciding to have sex while your brother is not, in fact, asleep.

“DEAN. WHAT THE FUCK.” Sam shouted. He was standing in the doorway to the living room, his jaw practically dragging the ground.

Dean and Cas sprang apart, both turning completely red. At least they hadn't gotten  _all_  of their clothes off yet.

“Uh… merry Christmas…” Dean said, looking terrified. Cas couldn't even look at Sam.

“Well… why don’t you two make yourselves decent and then we can exchange presents.” Sam made a hasty retreat, leaving both Dean and Cas utterly horrified at the whole encounter.

“I guess now at least we won’t have to tell him,” Dean told Cas, who was still staring intently at the ground.

* * * * *

A few minutes later, Dean and Cas (fully clothed, thankfully) sat down on the couch. Sam sat next to the tree so that he could reach distribute the presents.

Everyone had fun, despite the awkwardness in the beginning. After all the presents had been opened, Cas jumped up, suddenly remembering about Santa.

“I have to see if he ate the cookies!” he said, rushing to check on them. He returned a minute later carrying a plate of twelve cookies, the same number they’d made. He looked slightly disappointed. “I guess he was full from everybody else’s cookies,” Cas sighed.

“Uh… about that…I kinda lied about the whole Santa thing. I didn't think you’d take it so seriously. I’m sorry. I should have told you. You were so happy though,” Dean rambled.

“Oh. So he’s not real?” Cas asked.

“No. But that’s okay. Just because Santa is a joke, that doesn't mean that Christmas is! Christmas isn't about Santa. He’s just a ploy to get bratty little kids to behave. Christmas is about family, and having fun. And trust me when I say this, I've had the best Christmas ever. I've gotten to spend it with my brother and my b--” Dean went silent.

“What was that, Dean?” Sam smirked at him. “I don’t think we got that last part.”

“What did you say, Dean?” Cas asked, genuinely confused.

“I said ‘and my boyfriend’,” Dean mumbled, barely audibly.

“Awww, Dean’s got a boyfriend!”

“Shut  _UP_ , Sam!” Dean said, tossing a pillow at him.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Sam said suggestively. “Just promise me that if clothes start coming off you’ll take it to your room, okay? I like this couch, and I’d rather not have to burn it.”

“No guarantees, little brother!” Dean shouted. Sam rolled his eyes and left them alone.

“You heard him, Cas. Come on.” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and pulled his boyfriend to his room, stopping only briefly to kiss him under the mistletoe.

 


End file.
